Are you happy?

Tomorrow is a big day in the world of traditions! I am sure at this point you are all either at ease knowing that you have all your shopping done or fighting the urge to kick in a self check out screen at Wal-Mart! Luckily, my family and I did Christmas early this year and although I was feeling under the weather and not 100% up to the task of cleaning, cooking and hosting 7 people; once the family arrived I was washed over with an amazing feeling...Happiness.

It is interesting that in our day to day life we work so hard for the idea of happiness but how often do we find it? If we are honest we would all say it is not found as often as we would like. As the holidays come and go and you start a new year practice the following and I know you will be on your way to a happier and more successful YOU!

First, let us identify why we should be in search of happiness and is it something you can find? In the past 40 years there has been some exciting research in the field of positive psychology and the answer is as simple as we would hope. Shawn Achor, a professor at Harvard University, did an extensive 10 year study on the concept and pursuit of happiness and found that the traditional line of thinking "if I become successful I will be happy" is not only flawed but backwards. As it relates to the work place, sales and the bottom line, employees who have a happy disposition are much more successful. In fact, sales people who are generally happy outsell their pessimistic counterparts by 56%! The reason...science. Our brains have what is called "neuron mirrors" that simply mirror what we see. Think about it like this; how many times have you seen someone yawn and have followed suit? Is it because you are tired? No, your brain actually mirrors what it sees. Try smiling at someone and notice how hard it is for most people not to smile back. As a sales person this means your clients will actually be attracted to your happiness? Simply put, people want to be around happy people. This answers the first question.

Question 2: Can we find happiness and how. Yes, it is actually simple to find. As always it is habitual. Here are some ways to find happiness.

1) Know the three "happiness traps" as taught to us by Darren Hardy.

Happiness Trap #1 Postponing happiness. This is the "when I (fill in the blank) I will be happy. Happiness is not a when and where it is a here and now. If you cant be happy today, you have no chance tomorrow.

Happiness Trap #2 Trying to make other people happy. On average we spend a large amount of time and emotional energy trying to please others. The challenge here is that it is almost impossible to live up to every ones expectations and meet their needs. I am not saying you should have a "ME Mentality", do right by others, help others, grow others but understand that you can not give what you don't have. If you want to give others your best then you must first be your best. More often than not we find ourselves living a life that was programmed by our parents, peers, spouse or society. At the end of the day those who love us want one thing...for us to be happy in what we are doing. Ricky Nelson said it best; "you cant please everyone so you gotta please yourself."

Happiness Trap #3 Contrast. Darren Hardy says "for the most part happiness is an illusion." What he is saying is that we make up the idea of whether we are happy or not. We can only judge something when we compare it. Have you ever been having a great day only to run into a friend with a new car, house, pair of shoes and you immediately think "I gotta have that"? Subconsciously, you raise the bar on what it will take to be happy. If you are going to contrast do it the opposite way. Be thankful for what you do have. Health, a secure job, food in your stomach, a family to spend the holidays with (even the weird ones).

There are many ways to make happiness a daily habit and I am going to focus on them one by one over the next few weeks so I will start simply and with the most important. Make it a habit to have GRATITUDE. It may seem elementary and too easy (I love easy) but take a couple of minutes, grab a pen and paper and write down all the things that you have to be thankful for today. List everyhting you can think of... Here is what it should look like:

I am grateful for:
*My health
*My family
*My job
*My friends
*The fact that I have a car to drive.
*The fact that I have a bed to sleep in.
*My kids being safe and able to come home for the holidays.

You getting the picture? I guarantee you will notice a change in your attitude.

Have a Happy Christmas and remember that happiness creates. It is not derived from things, purchases or outside influences. It is derived from within. Happiness is a state of mind. It is a choice and ultimately it is your choice to make.

Grasping Greatness!

I spent the morning keynoting the southeast district 2 FCCLA leadership meeting. It was such a blast working with these great student leaders. The conference theme was "Grasp Greatness" and it really got me thinking about how we as individuals can find greatness in our lives. Here are a couple of points I shared:

1) In order to bring out greatness in ourselves we need to bring it out in others. I believe that the biggest advantage we get in our professional and personal lives is through our relationships with others. If you think about it, most people get a job or a spouse or a business connection through a friend. If you are looking daily for ways to make others better they will return the favor. Nurture your relationships.

2) In order to bring out greatness in ourselves we need to look for the opportunities in front of us. It is sad that a majority of people sit around waiting for something to happen. We do not live in a world with a lack of opportunities but we do live in a world with a lack of people who are willing to get up and work for those opportunities. My mother is a perfect example; she moved to Oklahoma City to start her own business and had zero clients! Everyday she woke up, got off her butt and pounded the pavement. Within a year she was having to turn down clients. Theodore Roosevelt said "far and away the best prize life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." I think that sums it up.

3) In order to bring out greatness in ourselves we need to acknowledge that we are great. Self talk is such a big part of my life. Often we validate ourselves by the way others see us. The problem here is that most people don't get past the perception to know the person. If we as individuals can't find the good in ourselves how can we expect others to see it? I love the thought St. Augustine gives on this issue: "people travel for days to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean and the circular motion of the stars yet they pass the mirror every single day and never give a second thought to Gods greatest creation."

Just some thoughts. Hope you have a great Christmas and make these three things a HABIT!!!

Feliz Navi Christmas...

KB

Pond Creek-Hunter

Traveled to Pond Creek, OK to speak at an all school assembly for the Pond Creek-Hunter student body. It was an awesome assembly and the students were out of this world! The whole point of the assembly was to focus on school spirit and how to bring the best out in others. It is amazing the amount of small opportunities we get everyday to make someones day and in the process build our self worth. These students get it! I hope everyone is taking some time out of our busy lives do something small that will no doubt leave a huge mark in somones life. You never know when a simple smile or hello will be just what someone needed to get through the day. Thanks to Jamie Ronck and the PCH Student Council for having me out to speak.

KB

Pleasure Vs. Happiness

Read an interesting interview between spiritual leader/physician Deepak Chopra and hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons. These two men are without a doubt icons in their industry and offered some great thoughts on business, personal growth and happiness. There was one part of the article that I found very interesting...

Recently, there has been a lot of research on what creates happiness. What researchers have found is that about 40-50 percent of peoples happiness comes from voluntary decisions they make on a daily basis. Cool, huh? But, what does that mean for us?

First, I think we need to figure out what type of decisions we make on a daily basis. For most of us we make decisions that we feel bring us happiness... we go to the movies, go shopping, eat that desert. Does this bring us happiness? It actually brings us pleasure which lasts for a couple of days and then we are left with buyers remorse or on a treadmill.

The decisions that bring us happiness, a feeling that can be recalled in your mind and bring a smile to your face at anytime, are decisions of bringing meaning, purpose and contribution to others and the world around us. Its simple what we give is what we get.

The best thing about these decisions, as opposed to those that bring us pleasure, is that they usually don't cost a thing. The decision to help a friend or stranger, to smile, to spend a few more minutes playing with your kids with no distractions or to acknowledge your co-workers and the great work they have done.

When we align our daily habits in such a way that they bring happiness to ourselves and others we become magnetized to happiness. It is drawn to us and we cant escape it.

When we get to the bottom line and are alone in our beds with only our thoughts, I think we can all agree that what is most important is knowing that what we did today will help someone else have a better tomorrow.

Make it a habit...

KB

OK HOSA

I spent Monday and Tuesday with one of my favorite clients in the world, Debbie Shumaker and her new team of Oklahoma State HOSA (Health Occupation Students of America) officers. For the past few years I have conducted the new state officer training and this year was another huge success. We spent two days of intensive training geared toward team building, goal setting, communicating like a pro and being an amazing ambassador for the HOSA organization.

Thanks and congratulations to all of the new officers. I know this year will be one of the best for Oklahoma HOSA. To learn more about Health Occupations Students of America and ways to join go to the link below...


www.hosa.org

Cooking Frogs

October is over and what a busy month! I traveled 25 days out of the month to 7 different states (some more than once) and spoke to thousands of students. It was a blast but I am ready for the break. The one thing that is difficult in the busy months is keeping a routine. It is important for those who want to grow and reach new levels of success to break routines and find change but on a certain level I believe some routine is good.

When you are on the road a nice routine, if nothing else, will help keep you sane. Waking up at the same time, reading on a regular basis, exercising... are all good ways to help keep a balanced life. Too much of anything can be a bad thing so having a way to ground yourself in some normality is a plus. As the holidays approach and we all find it easier to break away from our habits of success remember that it gets easier to skip church the more you do it. Don't allow yourself to totally break away from those important steps you must take everyday to ensure that you are going in the direction you want to go.

I like the story of the frog. If you drop a frog into boiling water he is sure to jump out because he will know something is wrong. However, if you put a frog in room temperature water and gradually increase the temperature he will not sense the change and...well, you know. I have never tried this but it was on the Internet so you know it is true. This leaves me with 2 questions...

1) Why are people boiling frogs?
2) What small changes (habits) are you making or breaking without even knowing the damage they are causing?

Stick to the plan... After all, it is small change, not big change that will get us in the end.

MO FCCLA

Spent the past two days with Rhett Laubach, Patty Henderson, Kent Butler, Amy Gallimore and the MO FCCLA association.

The students got some great information on chapter management, expanding their leadership reach and ways to become more active in their school community and the FCCLA organization.

Tomorrow I head to Nevada for the "Fall Leadership Extravaganza!". I will spend a day in Reno then go to Las Vegas. This will be a joint program with NV DECA, BPA and FCCLA. 1,000 students and some great sights is sure to male for a great trip. Looking forward to a night a couple days in Vegas at Ceasers Palace!

Also, this will probably be my last post. Don't worry, there will be more posts, but after I win a few million at the craps table I will probably hire someone to think and blog for me.

Peace...

Location:Osage Beach, MO

Riley Pagett elected National FFA President

Congratulations to Riley Pagett, former OK FFA state officer and newly elected National FFA President. For the next year Riley is charged with leading the worlds largest student organization. He will serve as an ambassador for the over 500,000 students and travel all over the United states and Japan delivering workshops, keynote speeches and representing FFA on the national level.

To learn more about Riley, access his blog and keep up with the impact he makes in the lives of thousands go to www.FFA.org


Congrats, Riley! You deserve it.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Susan G. Komen "Race for the Cure"

Last week a few of my friends and I (Left to right in the picture Me, Weston Dehart and his wife Julie) ran in the Susan G. Komen "Race for the Cure" in Bricktown, Oklahoma City, OK. I have gotten back into the habit of running, something I loved to do in high school but have since found it easy to make excuses as to why I am too busy. In the past 3 months I have "made it a habit" to get back in shape. 4 or my fraternity brothers are meeting in Dallas tomorrow for another "Race for the Cure" if you are around the Dallas area you should join us. I will be running for all of the breast cancer survivors I know but in particular for the mother of one of my best friends and fraternity brothers, Linda Hutson.

Caution: I am going to brag for a second so you may want to skip this part...

I just turned 27 and am in better shape than when I graduated high school. Running a little over 8 miles a day and will do my first half marathon (13.1 miles) next month hopefully!

Make it a Habit

It can be very difficult for a speaker to define what it is they speak about. It is also the first question people ask... "so, what do you talk about?" My usual answer is about 45-60 minutes. While most speakers focus on leadership there is usually a more specific area. For me, it is habits. I am fascinated with the habits people chose to create or more importantly create without thinking about it. It is a simple concept; if you want different things create a different set of habits. This works in every area of our life; health, finance, relationships...

In an effort to keep these posts short I will break down a few basic areas of life and show the huge difference that a few small habits will make in your life. For the first one I will focus on one of the single most important habits a person can create to change their direction in life.

READING.

I got my love for reading from my mom. As children she read to my brother and I and I was fascinated at her ability to devour a 300 page Sidney Sheldon novel in a days time. Of all the great habits she taught me this is one of the best.

THE BENEFITS:

Your inputs equal your outputs. Invest some of your income and time on what we call continuous education and you will notice these benefits quickly...

1) You will be more informed and your desire to stay informed will grow.

2) Your creativity and imagination will reach new levels. When we read we tap into that part of the brain that forces us to think creatively. Bringing about our own idea of what the characters look like, act like and what they wear. The reader gets to form the perfect cast, location, colors...

3) Reading improves your social life. The National Endowment of the Arts found that people who read are 3 times as likely to attend a performing arts festival, 4 times as likely to visit an art museum and 2 and half times as likely to do charity or volunteer work. Check out their research... http://www.nea.gov/news/news04/readingatrisk.html

4) You learn new things. Abraham Lincoln said it best; "I don't think to much of a man who doesn't know more today than he did yesterday."

THE HABIT:

"Make it a habit" to read 10 pages a day. I would recommend doing this at one setting so you can better absorb the information. By simply reading 10 pages a day you will finish the average book in 18-31 days. This will have you reading a little more or less than a book a month, not a bad start. I try to read at least 4 books a month.

The challenge most people have is that they simply don't like to read. Why should they? In a world of apps, iPads, tweets and instant gratification it is hard to stare at black and white text, page after page. First off, you should not read just to finish a book. I follow the advice of my favorite author, Andy Andrews. Every time I set down to read a book I have a pen and highlighter in hand and I am on a search for knowledge. I know that in this book, on this page I am going to find something that is going to radically change the way I see myself, others, business, life... In every book I am on a constant search for something I never knew existed. If you are wondering where to start check out my previous post. Take the advice of my best friend and speaking associate Rhett Laubach; "get out of your head and get into a good book."

So, find an area that interests you, no one wants to read a boring book, buy a book and start reading. Don't forget about what Zig Ziglar calls Automobile University. In your daily commute to work you could learn a new skill, new sales technique and even a new language just by listening to a book on tape. Turn Ke$ha off and turn your mind on!

Travel Time

Spent the last few days on the road. Was in Colorado working with the CO FFA association for two days and had back to back programs in Oklahoma on Monday and Tuesday. This is the busy time of the year so I will be on the road for the next month; Reno, Las Vegas, Georgia, Missouri, Arizona, Reno again, Minnesota, California, Missouri again, Reno again, Kansas and Arizona again with sprinkles of Oklahoma throughout!

Hope all is well with all of you and I am sure you are enjoying your Fall. See you down the road.

KB

People Helping People

Last night I went to a benefit concert sponsored by Chilis restaurant and St. Jude Children's Research hospital. It was at the Wormy Dog and featured Cody Canada (Cross Canadian Ragweed), Charlie Robison and Seth James. It was a cool event and I purchased some sweet items at the silent auction. Chilis does a great job supporting the work, research and outreach that St. Jude provides to all children who hear have to hear those 3 dreaded words, "you have cancer". Keep in mind that once a child is diagnosed with cancer St. Jude takes care of everything from travel to treatment at NO charge to the family.

Today you have an easy way to help. Go to a local Chilis restaurant and just eat! 100% of the money made today will be donated to St. Jude!!!

http://www.chilis.com/EN/Pages/home.aspx

www.stjude.org

If you can't make it to Chilis and want to help you can simply text "HOPE" to 90999. This will donate $5 to St. Jude. You can do this anytime!

Nevada FBLA/DECA Advisor academy!

Spent the weekend in Las Vegas, NV with 70 local advisors from all over Nevada and great times were had by all. I did an opening keynote and 2 breakout sessions. The day was structured around two main things; 1) getting advisors excited about the upcoming year and 2) tips for facilitation and debriefing workshops.

I shared a thought with the teachers that I wanted to pass along to you... "You have a direct impact on a child's future just by showing up each day and physically being present." The main question is this; who wants to just show up. I would hope that each day and in every situation we don't just show up but show up on purpose and with a purpose. For all those advisors who wanted to know how to get some great music to play in their programs follow these instructions:

1. Download and install iTunes.
2. Once inside iTunes, go to the iTunes store.
3. Click on Music along the top. (where it says music, movies, TV show, etc...)
4. Scroll to the very bottom of the page and you will see some links under "more to explore." Click on iMix.
5. In the search field type in "yournextspeaker." No spaces.
6. This will get you both a fast and slow play list.

Enjoy and remember to keep your music and material Clean, Powerful and Positive.

Your first step is their first hope.

My DJ company, "Your Choice Entertainment" is excited to be working with St. Jude Research Hospital. Check out the link...

Your first step is their first hope.

O-H....I-O!!!

I just returned from a trip to Columbus, OH where I had the privilege of working with 500 amazing FFA members at the 2010 Ohio C.O.L.T (Chapter Officer Leadership Training) conference. I had an amazing time and the Ohio FFA organization www.ohioffa.org should be commended for the caliber of students they have. On Tuesday evening I spent a couple hours with the State officer team helping with presentations and facilitation training. Wednesday morning was 3 full hours of fun and growth with chapter officers and members from all over the state.

Want to thank the 15 Ohio state officers on a job well done. They were fully committed to being involved and interacting with the students. This was my first time working with the Ohio FFA association and gave me a chance to work with a legend in the FFA world, Dr. Steve Gratz. I have known Dr. Gratz at a distance since 2002 and having the chance to work with him directly showed me exactly why he is one of the most respected men in the nation when it comes to FFA and the development of our youth.

Special thanks and congratulations to Katy Endsley! She was my contact for the event and was not able to attend as she and her husband welcomed their second child into the world! Congrats, Katy...

Off to Vegas for 20 hour round trip to work with Nevada FBLA and DECA advisors!!!

Float Trip 2010

Spent the weekend with 10 of my closest friends (The Trojans, the Jeffreys, the Deharts, Gaylon, Matt, Jordan and Howard) floating the Illinois river. Had a great time and made some memories.

On the way down I got to stop in and see my brother and his children and have some great food at "Captains Table" on the river in Webbers Falls. My brother made a deal with my nephews and told them he would buy them a trampoline if they learned the FFA Creed. Connor has the first line done and he is only in the second grade!

Thanks to Howard for planning the trip to float the river. I am blessed to have such great friends and family. Wish we could have had a few more friends join us. Maybe next time...

The picture is of my niece, Macy holding one of her new baby pigs.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Tracys Terrace,Edmond,United States

Thanks from the military.

Below is a note I received from Sgt. Ryan Ellis from the 1-45th ADT deployed in Afghanistan. Thanks to everyone...

To everyone who was involved:

Thank you from the 1-45th Oklahoma Agribusiness Development Team for the Happy Grams from Alumni Camp. It meant so much for our team to receive letters from Oklahoma FFA members as most of our team are former members. It was such a pleasure to open a box and have 95 Happy Grams, from members all over the state, staring back at us. We are very thankful for your thoughts and time to honor us during such a busy time for OK FFA. Thank you for the coordination with Dr. Shelly Sitton to arrange for them to be shipped over with more school supplies. It is hard to express the appreciation we have for receiving letters from home and it means even more when they come from children. On a more personal note, I was very overwhelmed to see the Happy Grams. It made me feel like I was back at home and back with students, not to mention that I personally know so many of the people involved. I was so proud (as the ag teacher of the group) to show the letters to everyone else and tell them that our state FFA association was thinking about us. I look forward to meeting with some of you when I return, to share stories and pictures from our agriculture mission here. Thanks again to all of you for your support and we will see you in a couple of months when we return home. Please let the members know that we appreciate their thoughts !

SGT Ryan Ellis

Ag Education/Extension SME

1-45th OK ADT

Deployed

Man Trip 2010

Just returned from a great trip with my dad and brother to St. Louis and had an absolute blast. My dad and brother have been fans of the cardinals their whole lives and my brother and I have been to a few games but this trip was special as it was my dads first time.

Aside from the game and amazing seats (thanks dad) we toured the Brewery and we made time to walk by the arch and check out some local hot spots. I highly recommend Jakes Steaks! The highlight was just spending some time making a memory with the people you love.

It was great to see the Cardinals break their slump and win 2 of the 3 games!





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:St. Louis, MO

We are still fighting a war.

When I moved to Stillwater I had the opportunity to befriend some of the best people in the world. 3 of these friends are currently active duty in the U.S. Air Force. Through them, I have had the privilege of meeting hundreds of our military men and women and it has been an absolute pleasure.

I tell students and adults in my programs that if they want to send care packages, supplies and words of encouragement to those who are deployed I will supply them with addresses or mail the supplies myself. WOW! What a response I have received. I have spent most of the day responding to e-mails from individuals, student organizations and churches who want to send something. Too often we hear that "freedom isn't free" which is true, but what is the cost. On the extreme end it is the loss of a loved one but on a daily basis it is simply the worry of a mother or father. It is a son or daughter, husband or wife missing the person who means the most to them. It is a birthday celebrated without a parent or an anniversary spent alone. I hope that we all don't get to wrapped up in our own lives that we forget we only have all of this because they do all of that.

I wish I could see the look on the soldiers faces when they get a package they were not expecting from someone they do not know! The pics are of my good friends who are active duty. Thank God we live in a free country but thank him even more for the people that ensure that freedom.

Brain Fertilizer

If you are looking for some amazing books to read here is a short list I recommend. If you have trouble finding the time to read take advantage of what Zig Ziglar calls automobile university. Simply download the books on iTunes, Amazon or Audible.com and enjoy them on your daily commute:

Leadership/Personal Growth;

1) Any book by Andy Andrews. (Start with "The Travelers Gift" and read them all)

2) Any Book by Mitch Albom (The five people you meet in heaven and Tuesdays With Morrie is a great place to start)

3)The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John Mann

4) Any Book by Zig Ziglar or Og Mandino

5) The Most Brilliant Thoughts of all Time in two lines or less by John M. Shanahan

6) Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (What the Dog Saw and Blink are also good).

7) Developing the Leader Within by John C. Maxwell

8) The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.

9) A Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.

10) How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Financial

1) The Total Money Makeover and More than Enough by Dave Ramsey

2) The Millionare Next Door by Stanley and Danko

3) The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason

4) Wealth on Minimal Wage by James Steamer

5) Secrets of the Millionare Mind by T. Harv Eker.

Real Interesting reads.

1) Gang Leader for a Day by Sudhir Venkatesh

2) Where Men Win Glory (The odyssey fo Pat Tillman) by Jon Krakauer

3) Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond.

4) Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

5) The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Hope you enjoy them...

August 15

Traveled to Hollis, OK last monday to work with the teachers and faculty at Hollis Public Schools. Had a great time teaching them some habits to make their year more effective and enjoyable with the students. What a great group of teachers, staff, administration and faculty they have in Hollis. It is without a doubt the best school in the county.

Today is my brothers 28th birthday and it is good to know that he gets to spend it with his children and our parents. Hope you all are keeping close ties with those you love. After all, the most important thing we can hope to do is nourish the relationships with the ones closest to use.

My best,

KB