Are you happy?

Tomorrow is a big day in the world of traditions! I am sure at this point you are all either at ease knowing that you have all your shopping done or fighting the urge to kick in a self check out screen at Wal-Mart! Luckily, my family and I did Christmas early this year and although I was feeling under the weather and not 100% up to the task of cleaning, cooking and hosting 7 people; once the family arrived I was washed over with an amazing feeling...Happiness.

It is interesting that in our day to day life we work so hard for the idea of happiness but how often do we find it? If we are honest we would all say it is not found as often as we would like. As the holidays come and go and you start a new year practice the following and I know you will be on your way to a happier and more successful YOU!

First, let us identify why we should be in search of happiness and is it something you can find? In the past 40 years there has been some exciting research in the field of positive psychology and the answer is as simple as we would hope. Shawn Achor, a professor at Harvard University, did an extensive 10 year study on the concept and pursuit of happiness and found that the traditional line of thinking "if I become successful I will be happy" is not only flawed but backwards. As it relates to the work place, sales and the bottom line, employees who have a happy disposition are much more successful. In fact, sales people who are generally happy outsell their pessimistic counterparts by 56%! The reason...science. Our brains have what is called "neuron mirrors" that simply mirror what we see. Think about it like this; how many times have you seen someone yawn and have followed suit? Is it because you are tired? No, your brain actually mirrors what it sees. Try smiling at someone and notice how hard it is for most people not to smile back. As a sales person this means your clients will actually be attracted to your happiness? Simply put, people want to be around happy people. This answers the first question.

Question 2: Can we find happiness and how. Yes, it is actually simple to find. As always it is habitual. Here are some ways to find happiness.

1) Know the three "happiness traps" as taught to us by Darren Hardy.

Happiness Trap #1 Postponing happiness. This is the "when I (fill in the blank) I will be happy. Happiness is not a when and where it is a here and now. If you cant be happy today, you have no chance tomorrow.

Happiness Trap #2 Trying to make other people happy. On average we spend a large amount of time and emotional energy trying to please others. The challenge here is that it is almost impossible to live up to every ones expectations and meet their needs. I am not saying you should have a "ME Mentality", do right by others, help others, grow others but understand that you can not give what you don't have. If you want to give others your best then you must first be your best. More often than not we find ourselves living a life that was programmed by our parents, peers, spouse or society. At the end of the day those who love us want one thing...for us to be happy in what we are doing. Ricky Nelson said it best; "you cant please everyone so you gotta please yourself."

Happiness Trap #3 Contrast. Darren Hardy says "for the most part happiness is an illusion." What he is saying is that we make up the idea of whether we are happy or not. We can only judge something when we compare it. Have you ever been having a great day only to run into a friend with a new car, house, pair of shoes and you immediately think "I gotta have that"? Subconsciously, you raise the bar on what it will take to be happy. If you are going to contrast do it the opposite way. Be thankful for what you do have. Health, a secure job, food in your stomach, a family to spend the holidays with (even the weird ones).

There are many ways to make happiness a daily habit and I am going to focus on them one by one over the next few weeks so I will start simply and with the most important. Make it a habit to have GRATITUDE. It may seem elementary and too easy (I love easy) but take a couple of minutes, grab a pen and paper and write down all the things that you have to be thankful for today. List everyhting you can think of... Here is what it should look like:

I am grateful for:
*My health
*My family
*My job
*My friends
*The fact that I have a car to drive.
*The fact that I have a bed to sleep in.
*My kids being safe and able to come home for the holidays.

You getting the picture? I guarantee you will notice a change in your attitude.

Have a Happy Christmas and remember that happiness creates. It is not derived from things, purchases or outside influences. It is derived from within. Happiness is a state of mind. It is a choice and ultimately it is your choice to make.