Are you happy?

Tomorrow is a big day in the world of traditions! I am sure at this point you are all either at ease knowing that you have all your shopping done or fighting the urge to kick in a self check out screen at Wal-Mart! Luckily, my family and I did Christmas early this year and although I was feeling under the weather and not 100% up to the task of cleaning, cooking and hosting 7 people; once the family arrived I was washed over with an amazing feeling...Happiness.

It is interesting that in our day to day life we work so hard for the idea of happiness but how often do we find it? If we are honest we would all say it is not found as often as we would like. As the holidays come and go and you start a new year practice the following and I know you will be on your way to a happier and more successful YOU!

First, let us identify why we should be in search of happiness and is it something you can find? In the past 40 years there has been some exciting research in the field of positive psychology and the answer is as simple as we would hope. Shawn Achor, a professor at Harvard University, did an extensive 10 year study on the concept and pursuit of happiness and found that the traditional line of thinking "if I become successful I will be happy" is not only flawed but backwards. As it relates to the work place, sales and the bottom line, employees who have a happy disposition are much more successful. In fact, sales people who are generally happy outsell their pessimistic counterparts by 56%! The reason...science. Our brains have what is called "neuron mirrors" that simply mirror what we see. Think about it like this; how many times have you seen someone yawn and have followed suit? Is it because you are tired? No, your brain actually mirrors what it sees. Try smiling at someone and notice how hard it is for most people not to smile back. As a sales person this means your clients will actually be attracted to your happiness? Simply put, people want to be around happy people. This answers the first question.

Question 2: Can we find happiness and how. Yes, it is actually simple to find. As always it is habitual. Here are some ways to find happiness.

1) Know the three "happiness traps" as taught to us by Darren Hardy.

Happiness Trap #1 Postponing happiness. This is the "when I (fill in the blank) I will be happy. Happiness is not a when and where it is a here and now. If you cant be happy today, you have no chance tomorrow.

Happiness Trap #2 Trying to make other people happy. On average we spend a large amount of time and emotional energy trying to please others. The challenge here is that it is almost impossible to live up to every ones expectations and meet their needs. I am not saying you should have a "ME Mentality", do right by others, help others, grow others but understand that you can not give what you don't have. If you want to give others your best then you must first be your best. More often than not we find ourselves living a life that was programmed by our parents, peers, spouse or society. At the end of the day those who love us want one thing...for us to be happy in what we are doing. Ricky Nelson said it best; "you cant please everyone so you gotta please yourself."

Happiness Trap #3 Contrast. Darren Hardy says "for the most part happiness is an illusion." What he is saying is that we make up the idea of whether we are happy or not. We can only judge something when we compare it. Have you ever been having a great day only to run into a friend with a new car, house, pair of shoes and you immediately think "I gotta have that"? Subconsciously, you raise the bar on what it will take to be happy. If you are going to contrast do it the opposite way. Be thankful for what you do have. Health, a secure job, food in your stomach, a family to spend the holidays with (even the weird ones).

There are many ways to make happiness a daily habit and I am going to focus on them one by one over the next few weeks so I will start simply and with the most important. Make it a habit to have GRATITUDE. It may seem elementary and too easy (I love easy) but take a couple of minutes, grab a pen and paper and write down all the things that you have to be thankful for today. List everyhting you can think of... Here is what it should look like:

I am grateful for:
*My health
*My family
*My job
*My friends
*The fact that I have a car to drive.
*The fact that I have a bed to sleep in.
*My kids being safe and able to come home for the holidays.

You getting the picture? I guarantee you will notice a change in your attitude.

Have a Happy Christmas and remember that happiness creates. It is not derived from things, purchases or outside influences. It is derived from within. Happiness is a state of mind. It is a choice and ultimately it is your choice to make.

Grasping Greatness!

I spent the morning keynoting the southeast district 2 FCCLA leadership meeting. It was such a blast working with these great student leaders. The conference theme was "Grasp Greatness" and it really got me thinking about how we as individuals can find greatness in our lives. Here are a couple of points I shared:

1) In order to bring out greatness in ourselves we need to bring it out in others. I believe that the biggest advantage we get in our professional and personal lives is through our relationships with others. If you think about it, most people get a job or a spouse or a business connection through a friend. If you are looking daily for ways to make others better they will return the favor. Nurture your relationships.

2) In order to bring out greatness in ourselves we need to look for the opportunities in front of us. It is sad that a majority of people sit around waiting for something to happen. We do not live in a world with a lack of opportunities but we do live in a world with a lack of people who are willing to get up and work for those opportunities. My mother is a perfect example; she moved to Oklahoma City to start her own business and had zero clients! Everyday she woke up, got off her butt and pounded the pavement. Within a year she was having to turn down clients. Theodore Roosevelt said "far and away the best prize life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." I think that sums it up.

3) In order to bring out greatness in ourselves we need to acknowledge that we are great. Self talk is such a big part of my life. Often we validate ourselves by the way others see us. The problem here is that most people don't get past the perception to know the person. If we as individuals can't find the good in ourselves how can we expect others to see it? I love the thought St. Augustine gives on this issue: "people travel for days to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean and the circular motion of the stars yet they pass the mirror every single day and never give a second thought to Gods greatest creation."

Just some thoughts. Hope you have a great Christmas and make these three things a HABIT!!!

Feliz Navi Christmas...

KB

Pond Creek-Hunter

Traveled to Pond Creek, OK to speak at an all school assembly for the Pond Creek-Hunter student body. It was an awesome assembly and the students were out of this world! The whole point of the assembly was to focus on school spirit and how to bring the best out in others. It is amazing the amount of small opportunities we get everyday to make someones day and in the process build our self worth. These students get it! I hope everyone is taking some time out of our busy lives do something small that will no doubt leave a huge mark in somones life. You never know when a simple smile or hello will be just what someone needed to get through the day. Thanks to Jamie Ronck and the PCH Student Council for having me out to speak.

KB

Pleasure Vs. Happiness

Read an interesting interview between spiritual leader/physician Deepak Chopra and hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons. These two men are without a doubt icons in their industry and offered some great thoughts on business, personal growth and happiness. There was one part of the article that I found very interesting...

Recently, there has been a lot of research on what creates happiness. What researchers have found is that about 40-50 percent of peoples happiness comes from voluntary decisions they make on a daily basis. Cool, huh? But, what does that mean for us?

First, I think we need to figure out what type of decisions we make on a daily basis. For most of us we make decisions that we feel bring us happiness... we go to the movies, go shopping, eat that desert. Does this bring us happiness? It actually brings us pleasure which lasts for a couple of days and then we are left with buyers remorse or on a treadmill.

The decisions that bring us happiness, a feeling that can be recalled in your mind and bring a smile to your face at anytime, are decisions of bringing meaning, purpose and contribution to others and the world around us. Its simple what we give is what we get.

The best thing about these decisions, as opposed to those that bring us pleasure, is that they usually don't cost a thing. The decision to help a friend or stranger, to smile, to spend a few more minutes playing with your kids with no distractions or to acknowledge your co-workers and the great work they have done.

When we align our daily habits in such a way that they bring happiness to ourselves and others we become magnetized to happiness. It is drawn to us and we cant escape it.

When we get to the bottom line and are alone in our beds with only our thoughts, I think we can all agree that what is most important is knowing that what we did today will help someone else have a better tomorrow.

Make it a habit...

KB

OK HOSA

I spent Monday and Tuesday with one of my favorite clients in the world, Debbie Shumaker and her new team of Oklahoma State HOSA (Health Occupation Students of America) officers. For the past few years I have conducted the new state officer training and this year was another huge success. We spent two days of intensive training geared toward team building, goal setting, communicating like a pro and being an amazing ambassador for the HOSA organization.

Thanks and congratulations to all of the new officers. I know this year will be one of the best for Oklahoma HOSA. To learn more about Health Occupations Students of America and ways to join go to the link below...


www.hosa.org

Cooking Frogs

October is over and what a busy month! I traveled 25 days out of the month to 7 different states (some more than once) and spoke to thousands of students. It was a blast but I am ready for the break. The one thing that is difficult in the busy months is keeping a routine. It is important for those who want to grow and reach new levels of success to break routines and find change but on a certain level I believe some routine is good.

When you are on the road a nice routine, if nothing else, will help keep you sane. Waking up at the same time, reading on a regular basis, exercising... are all good ways to help keep a balanced life. Too much of anything can be a bad thing so having a way to ground yourself in some normality is a plus. As the holidays approach and we all find it easier to break away from our habits of success remember that it gets easier to skip church the more you do it. Don't allow yourself to totally break away from those important steps you must take everyday to ensure that you are going in the direction you want to go.

I like the story of the frog. If you drop a frog into boiling water he is sure to jump out because he will know something is wrong. However, if you put a frog in room temperature water and gradually increase the temperature he will not sense the change and...well, you know. I have never tried this but it was on the Internet so you know it is true. This leaves me with 2 questions...

1) Why are people boiling frogs?
2) What small changes (habits) are you making or breaking without even knowing the damage they are causing?

Stick to the plan... After all, it is small change, not big change that will get us in the end.

MO FCCLA

Spent the past two days with Rhett Laubach, Patty Henderson, Kent Butler, Amy Gallimore and the MO FCCLA association.

The students got some great information on chapter management, expanding their leadership reach and ways to become more active in their school community and the FCCLA organization.

Tomorrow I head to Nevada for the "Fall Leadership Extravaganza!". I will spend a day in Reno then go to Las Vegas. This will be a joint program with NV DECA, BPA and FCCLA. 1,000 students and some great sights is sure to male for a great trip. Looking forward to a night a couple days in Vegas at Ceasers Palace!

Also, this will probably be my last post. Don't worry, there will be more posts, but after I win a few million at the craps table I will probably hire someone to think and blog for me.

Peace...

Location:Osage Beach, MO