What love has to do with it.

In honor of Valentines day I wanted to share some thoughts on love I heard recently.

Dr. Joyce Meyers said that "love is something we all yearn for and to love and be loved is the most blissful state imaginable. But what is love? One of the best definitions is caring about the aims and well being of another person as much as you do your own.

Too many people mistake the sweaty palms and butterflies they feel during a romantic encounter as love. According to Phillip Yancy, "if a couple thinks of love as a feeling they can become bitter when they see it dissolve over the years. If they see it as a decision, a commitment, they will realize that they determine when love is present or not.

I love the thought that John Russell has on this issue...

There are three types of love:

1) Love if.
"I will love you if you will satisfy my desires. This could be a desire for romance, adventure, safety... this love will always end when one person fails to meet the expectations of the other.

2) Love because of.
"I love you because you are pretty, handsome or have money". This means they are actually in love with status. Once the beauty fades, the money is gone or the job is lost, the love is quick to follow.

3) Love period.
Love period can't wait to give. According to Russell this type of love says "you can't do anything to turn my love off". This is the love that endures. It is a rare type of love and that is what makes it so great.

I hope you have people in your life that you love period!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Story Time = Big Time

If you know me or read what little bit of a blog I keep you know that I love to read. Of all the hobbies I have it ranks as one of the most enjoyable and affordable. One of the main reasons I recommend this as a main habit in peoples lives is because there is no cheaper, and in a lot of cases, more beneficial substitute for a college education at home. It is amazing to me that it is possible to pick up an education in the odds and ends of time which most people throw away.

This article was in March issue of success magazine. Parents, read carefully.

Reading to and with your child for just 20 minutes a day, according to The Reading Foundation, helps establish basic reading skills, promotes parent-child binding and encourages a love for learning. The foundation also assets that reading daily to a pre-school child may have a significant impact on his PR he earning potential later on life: "For every year you read with your child average lifetime earnings increase by $50,000."

Tweens and teens who read for pleasure tend to have a better vocabulary than their non-reading peers.

When I think about the gifts I was given as a child one that has been crucial to any success I have had was that my mother read to me, with me and more importantly in front of me. Good parents don't tell children how to live their lives... They simply live their own and the children watch.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Nebraska bound

Welcome to 2011! Here is to 3 months of having to correct yourself everytime you say or write 2010! For me, the new year started off better than ever. I have so many reasons to be thankful and excited and it gets better every day.



I was able to take a break to go hunting and spend some time with one of the greatest families I know. I went to Sutton, NE to visit John, Carol, Joe and Jess Waddell for a few days and we had a great time. It is amazing how when you are with the right people it doesnt matter what you do. I hope that in 2011 everyone is taking the time to find a friend and be a friend like the Waddells are to me.

Good luck in the new year and I hope that it is filled with great times and great friends.

Are you happy?

Tomorrow is a big day in the world of traditions! I am sure at this point you are all either at ease knowing that you have all your shopping done or fighting the urge to kick in a self check out screen at Wal-Mart! Luckily, my family and I did Christmas early this year and although I was feeling under the weather and not 100% up to the task of cleaning, cooking and hosting 7 people; once the family arrived I was washed over with an amazing feeling...Happiness.

It is interesting that in our day to day life we work so hard for the idea of happiness but how often do we find it? If we are honest we would all say it is not found as often as we would like. As the holidays come and go and you start a new year practice the following and I know you will be on your way to a happier and more successful YOU!

First, let us identify why we should be in search of happiness and is it something you can find? In the past 40 years there has been some exciting research in the field of positive psychology and the answer is as simple as we would hope. Shawn Achor, a professor at Harvard University, did an extensive 10 year study on the concept and pursuit of happiness and found that the traditional line of thinking "if I become successful I will be happy" is not only flawed but backwards. As it relates to the work place, sales and the bottom line, employees who have a happy disposition are much more successful. In fact, sales people who are generally happy outsell their pessimistic counterparts by 56%! The reason...science. Our brains have what is called "neuron mirrors" that simply mirror what we see. Think about it like this; how many times have you seen someone yawn and have followed suit? Is it because you are tired? No, your brain actually mirrors what it sees. Try smiling at someone and notice how hard it is for most people not to smile back. As a sales person this means your clients will actually be attracted to your happiness? Simply put, people want to be around happy people. This answers the first question.

Question 2: Can we find happiness and how. Yes, it is actually simple to find. As always it is habitual. Here are some ways to find happiness.

1) Know the three "happiness traps" as taught to us by Darren Hardy.

Happiness Trap #1 Postponing happiness. This is the "when I (fill in the blank) I will be happy. Happiness is not a when and where it is a here and now. If you cant be happy today, you have no chance tomorrow.

Happiness Trap #2 Trying to make other people happy. On average we spend a large amount of time and emotional energy trying to please others. The challenge here is that it is almost impossible to live up to every ones expectations and meet their needs. I am not saying you should have a "ME Mentality", do right by others, help others, grow others but understand that you can not give what you don't have. If you want to give others your best then you must first be your best. More often than not we find ourselves living a life that was programmed by our parents, peers, spouse or society. At the end of the day those who love us want one thing...for us to be happy in what we are doing. Ricky Nelson said it best; "you cant please everyone so you gotta please yourself."

Happiness Trap #3 Contrast. Darren Hardy says "for the most part happiness is an illusion." What he is saying is that we make up the idea of whether we are happy or not. We can only judge something when we compare it. Have you ever been having a great day only to run into a friend with a new car, house, pair of shoes and you immediately think "I gotta have that"? Subconsciously, you raise the bar on what it will take to be happy. If you are going to contrast do it the opposite way. Be thankful for what you do have. Health, a secure job, food in your stomach, a family to spend the holidays with (even the weird ones).

There are many ways to make happiness a daily habit and I am going to focus on them one by one over the next few weeks so I will start simply and with the most important. Make it a habit to have GRATITUDE. It may seem elementary and too easy (I love easy) but take a couple of minutes, grab a pen and paper and write down all the things that you have to be thankful for today. List everyhting you can think of... Here is what it should look like:

I am grateful for:
*My health
*My family
*My job
*My friends
*The fact that I have a car to drive.
*The fact that I have a bed to sleep in.
*My kids being safe and able to come home for the holidays.

You getting the picture? I guarantee you will notice a change in your attitude.

Have a Happy Christmas and remember that happiness creates. It is not derived from things, purchases or outside influences. It is derived from within. Happiness is a state of mind. It is a choice and ultimately it is your choice to make.

Grasping Greatness!

I spent the morning keynoting the southeast district 2 FCCLA leadership meeting. It was such a blast working with these great student leaders. The conference theme was "Grasp Greatness" and it really got me thinking about how we as individuals can find greatness in our lives. Here are a couple of points I shared:

1) In order to bring out greatness in ourselves we need to bring it out in others. I believe that the biggest advantage we get in our professional and personal lives is through our relationships with others. If you think about it, most people get a job or a spouse or a business connection through a friend. If you are looking daily for ways to make others better they will return the favor. Nurture your relationships.

2) In order to bring out greatness in ourselves we need to look for the opportunities in front of us. It is sad that a majority of people sit around waiting for something to happen. We do not live in a world with a lack of opportunities but we do live in a world with a lack of people who are willing to get up and work for those opportunities. My mother is a perfect example; she moved to Oklahoma City to start her own business and had zero clients! Everyday she woke up, got off her butt and pounded the pavement. Within a year she was having to turn down clients. Theodore Roosevelt said "far and away the best prize life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." I think that sums it up.

3) In order to bring out greatness in ourselves we need to acknowledge that we are great. Self talk is such a big part of my life. Often we validate ourselves by the way others see us. The problem here is that most people don't get past the perception to know the person. If we as individuals can't find the good in ourselves how can we expect others to see it? I love the thought St. Augustine gives on this issue: "people travel for days to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean and the circular motion of the stars yet they pass the mirror every single day and never give a second thought to Gods greatest creation."

Just some thoughts. Hope you have a great Christmas and make these three things a HABIT!!!

Feliz Navi Christmas...

KB

Pond Creek-Hunter

Traveled to Pond Creek, OK to speak at an all school assembly for the Pond Creek-Hunter student body. It was an awesome assembly and the students were out of this world! The whole point of the assembly was to focus on school spirit and how to bring the best out in others. It is amazing the amount of small opportunities we get everyday to make someones day and in the process build our self worth. These students get it! I hope everyone is taking some time out of our busy lives do something small that will no doubt leave a huge mark in somones life. You never know when a simple smile or hello will be just what someone needed to get through the day. Thanks to Jamie Ronck and the PCH Student Council for having me out to speak.

KB

Pleasure Vs. Happiness

Read an interesting interview between spiritual leader/physician Deepak Chopra and hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons. These two men are without a doubt icons in their industry and offered some great thoughts on business, personal growth and happiness. There was one part of the article that I found very interesting...

Recently, there has been a lot of research on what creates happiness. What researchers have found is that about 40-50 percent of peoples happiness comes from voluntary decisions they make on a daily basis. Cool, huh? But, what does that mean for us?

First, I think we need to figure out what type of decisions we make on a daily basis. For most of us we make decisions that we feel bring us happiness... we go to the movies, go shopping, eat that desert. Does this bring us happiness? It actually brings us pleasure which lasts for a couple of days and then we are left with buyers remorse or on a treadmill.

The decisions that bring us happiness, a feeling that can be recalled in your mind and bring a smile to your face at anytime, are decisions of bringing meaning, purpose and contribution to others and the world around us. Its simple what we give is what we get.

The best thing about these decisions, as opposed to those that bring us pleasure, is that they usually don't cost a thing. The decision to help a friend or stranger, to smile, to spend a few more minutes playing with your kids with no distractions or to acknowledge your co-workers and the great work they have done.

When we align our daily habits in such a way that they bring happiness to ourselves and others we become magnetized to happiness. It is drawn to us and we cant escape it.

When we get to the bottom line and are alone in our beds with only our thoughts, I think we can all agree that what is most important is knowing that what we did today will help someone else have a better tomorrow.

Make it a habit...

KB